“Well done, Mitya,” the father praises his son.
– How did you manage to get an A in zoology?
– And they asked me how many legs an ostrich has. I replied that it was three.
– Wait, but an ostrich has two legs!
– That’s it! But everyone else said four!

– Why did you only read half of the book?
– the librarian asks the boy.
– How did you find out?
– The second half of the book is clean!

The chicken hits its head against the wall and shouts: “Shame!” What a shame! Chicken is coming.
– Mom, is it true that my father is a rooster?
– Yes, son.
– Shame! God, what a shame!

– Baby, what’s your name?
– Misha. -What do you want to become when you grow up?
– A pilot.
– Why do you want to be a pilot?
– Misha.
– Baby, are you deaf?
– A pilot.

Unfortunately, in Russia the exploitation of children’s hands when catching pickles from a jar is still widespread.

Dad is perplexed: “And how could your violin break?” “Very simple,” the child answers.
– I was learning the verse, learning it… And suddenly!
– the violin fell out of the window.

A Russian language teacher, checking children’s essays on the topic “How I spent my summer,” gave not “3”, “4” and “5”, but 18+, 16+…

If you have returned from a business trip, and the apartment is clean, the children are doing their homework, the wife is cooking, the mother-in-law is knitting, and the dog is sleeping peacefully in its place
– they have broken your computer!

Children are our everything, our stroke, our heart attack.

The teacher asks: “Children, who knows what vegetable makes your eyes water?” Vovochka holds out her hand.
– Come on, Vovochka, answer.
– From potatoes!
– Well, think about it, how can it be that potatoes make your eyes water? Maybe you meant to say from the onion?
– Mary Ivanna, have you ever been hit in the balls with a potato?