Men are like babies: give them boobs or a bottle.

The phrase “who needs you with four children” took on new colors…

Women without men also yell like cats
– some at their children, some at their subordinates…

Nadezhda Babkina, Alla Pugacheva, Alena Sviridova… Unlike Angelina Jolie, Russian stars do not adopt children, but marry them.

A man comes to the doctor and says: “Doctor, I’ve been married for 10 years, and we still don’t have children.”
– Why do you think that you are the problem? Call your wife.
– Kolya, come in.

In a zoology lesson at school:
– Children, what is the name of a female tiger?
– Tigress.
– Right. Vovochka, what is the name of a female leopard?
– Borsetka, Maria Ivanovna.

– Children ! Tomorrow we are going to the zoo!
– announces the kindergarten teacher.
– Why?
– asks the little girl.
– You will meet a wolf, a bear, a fox, and a hare there.
– And with Kolobok?

The Titanic is sinking, with a teacher, lawyer, and Catholic priest on board. Teacher:
– We must save the children! Lawyer:
– Fuck these children! Priest:
– Do you think we will make it in time?

20s. The teacher explains to the children that there is no God.
– Now, children, are you convinced that there is no God?
– Yes. “Then let’s raise all our hands up and show God the devil.” One boy did not raise his hands.
– Why didn’t you raise your hands?
– If there is no God, then why wave your hands in vain? And if it exists, then why be needlessly angry?

– Representatives of the most ancient profession once decided:
– A prostitute and a thief to get married…
– So what?
– Otherwise, all their children became the first professional politicians.