In Russia, finances are handled by those who keep money abroad, and education is handled by those whose children study abroad.

Two women meet, one asks the other: “How old are you?” Another:
– How much would you give? I can give you a hint… First:
– Well… Another:
– My daughter goes to kindergarten. First:
– Does she work there as a manager?

A child watches a performance by an opera singer and says: “And when we yell like that in kindergarten, they scold us.”

On the border. A customs officer stops a little girl and asks: “What is this powder you have, girl?”
– This, uncle, is heroin!
– No, heroin is white, but yours is orange.
– And this, uncle, is children’s heroin, with orange flavor.

A unique find! The only 9th grade chemistry textbook in the world has been found, in which Mendeleev is depicted without drawn horns.

– I came to Israel for the sake of the children, and they are still happy.
– Do you live together?
– No, they stayed in Odessa.

Two adults walk past a bench where a group of teenagers are playing cards.
– Disgrace!
– one of them is indignant.
– Children play cards, and all the adults pass by. “Yeah,” says another, “yesterday I tried to stop, and at one point I lost my entire salary!”

The boys stare at the newlyweds leaving the church. “Let’s scare them,” one suggests.
– I myself!
– declares another, approaches the newly made spouse and says:
– Great choice, dad!

In a family of photographers, several children are born, and then they choose the one that turned out better.

Incident in the theater. Performance for children. The moment where the main villain is about to appear
– the lights are off, the orchestra is buzzing warily, there is silence in the hall. And then such a thin child’s voice: “Holy fuck!” how scary!!!