During classes in kindergarten, the teacher gave the task to make four vegetables. Vovochka was the last one to turn in his work. He brings a large plate of plasticine, and on it there are many small pieces of plasticine. The teacher asks: “What is this, Vovochka?” Where are your vegetables?
– I’ve already cut them into a salad!

– Vovochka, make up a sentence with the words “cat” and “look.” “When I accidentally stepped on the cat’s paw, he shouted: “You have to watch where you step!”

Americans came to see and learn more about our schools. They walk and look… One of them asked:
– Do you use computers in schools? Ours answer:
– Yes, from first grade. They enter the classroom and see: there are 4 computers standing on the windowsill. The teacher says:
– Sidorov, take 1 computer and put it on the table. Children, how many computers are left on the windowsill?

Students write a dictation. The teacher dictates: “I like to watch the flight of birds…” Oleg asks: “And if I don’t like to watch the flight of birds, should I write too?”

In kindergarten:
– Mom bought me a dress! Guess which one, starting with the letter F!
– Purple?
– No!
– Violet?
– No!
– Well then what?
– Cell!

Carlson and Cheburashka climbed onto the house. Carlson:
– Well, let’s go.
– Oh, wait, let your ears rest a little.

Kindergarten, children star in commercials:
– I am an apricot, I grew up in the south…
– I am a ripe purple garden plum…
– And I am PASSION FRUIT… I don’t even know what to say…

First of September. The children came to school. The teacher asks them: “Guys, how did you spend your summer holidays?” Who went where? Let’s start with you, Petya.
– Well, I had a great summer, went with my parents to the south:
– Sea, fruits, sea animals.
– And you, Seryozha?
– What about me? I’m at the dacha: swamp, cucumbers and mosquitoes.

– Don’t you want to eat?
– asks the baby’s mother.
– You said you were hungry like a wolf. -Have you seen wolves eat carrots?

On the street, a nice woman approaches a man:
– It seems to me that you are the father of one of my children… A man with horror:
– Me?! “Calm down,” the woman answers, “I’m a teacher.”