At school, the teacher asks the children: “Children, what kind of eggs did you see?” Well, the children answer: “Chickens have white ones.”
– Variegated ones
– cuckoo ones.
– What others?
– asks the teacher. “Purple,” Vovochka suggests.
– Where have you seen these?
– Grandfather got pinched by the gate…

“Santa Claus, please give me a LEGO set,” Vovochka shouts. “Don’t shout like that, Santa Claus will hear even a whisper,” his mother reassures him.
– Yes, but dad locked himself in his room and might not have heard.

Marvanna in a math lesson:
– Children, listen to the problem: there are 5 apples in a basket. Question:
– How should the apples in a basket be divided among five girls so that each girl gets one apple? And at the same time there was one more left in the basket. Vovochka:
– We need to kill one girl with a basket!

Vovochka’s mom came to a neurologist. He tells her: “You should be more tolerant of your son.” -What do you mean?
– When I asked him what his name was, the boy answered Vova, stop it.

6-year-old Vovochka runs to his mother in tears and complains to her about his little sister: “She grabbed me by the hair!”
– Vovochka, you shouldn’t be so upset:
– She’s still little and doesn’t understand that it hurts when they pull her hair. Vovochka leaves. After some time, children’s crying is heard from the room again. Mom runs into the room and asks the children: “What’s the matter?” Vovochka:
– Now she understands everything!

Vovochka came from school. “What did you get today?” asks dad. “Four,” the son blurted out.
– Why not five?
– And we only had four lessons.

– Vovochka, show me where Zanzibar is.
– Maryivanna! I know all the bars in the city, but this is the first time I’ve heard of this!

Vovochka:
– They say that you need to learn to earn money from childhood. This is about me! I have been making money since I was three years old
– then my father began sending me alimony.

Mathematics lesson in a Russian secondary school:
– Vovochka, solve the problem: The amount of excess profits from the sale of oil and gas is known. The number of Russians is known. Write an equation and calculate how much each Russian will receive. Vovochka writes: XY*
– X, igrek
– I understand… And what kind of asterisk?
– This is not an asterisk, this is censorship.

Vovochka comes from school. The father asks: “Why is it so late?”
– I was taking the old lady across the street.
– Well done, here’s some candy for this. The next day Vovochka comes with a friend.
– Dad, Vaska and I took the old lady across the street.
– Well done, here’s some candy for you. The next day Vovochka brings half the class.
– Dad, the guys and I were moving the old lady across the street.
– Why are there so many people?
– The old woman resisted.