Children today we pass monkeys:
– Vovochka, don’t look out the window, there are no monkeys there.
– So the children all look at me.

– Today, children, we will write a dictation.
– Mary Ivanna, I can’t!
– Why, Vovochka? “And I’m sexually tired today.”
– And you, Vovochka, write with the other hand.

Conversation in kindergarten. Vovochka:
– Nastya, are you a hot woman? Nastya:
– I don’t know, but when I get up from the potty, steam comes out

Physics lesson in 9th grade. The teacher asks:
– Children, who knows what “variable resistance” is? Vovochka from the back desk:
– This is Lyuska from 8th “A”!
– ???
– Sometimes he gives, and sometimes he resists.

Teacher:
– Children, continue the expression “We are sitting.” Masha:
– On the bench. Petya:
– On the grass. Vovochka:
– Tipsy!

MaryIvanna at a drawing lesson:
– Today Mashenka will draw a rose, Petenka will draw a bunny, Olenka will draw a pussy, and Vovochka will again draw domes, crosses and six diamonds.
– MaryVanna, why do I always draw the same thing?
– Understand, baby, this will be more useful to you in your future life. So, children, take brushes, and you, Vovochka, take a needle with ink, and let’s draw.

In a zoology lesson at school:
– Children, what is the name of a female tiger?
– Tigress.
– Right. Vovochka, what is the name of a female leopard?
– Borsetka, Maria Ivanovna.

– Children, come up with a sentence with a word ending in “-tsya”: Vovochka:
– The cow climbed the tree.
– Where…
– Oh, it will come true!

The children were taken on an excursion to the police station. There are photographs on the billboard: “The police are looking for them.” Vovochka: “Are these the ones you’re looking for?” Cop:
– Yes! Them the most!!! Vovochka:
– Those are the cops, damn it! Why didn’t you tie them up when you took the picture????

An American journalist decided to check the level of intellectual development of Soviet children. She came to kindergarten, called Vovochka, raised an orange above her head and said: “Boy, can you get the orange without jumping?”
– Auntie, can you suck it without bending over?