– Dad, when did people learn that the earth is not flat, but round?
– Vovochka, any fool can understand this! We found out when we saw the globe!

Vovochka says to his father: “Listen, dad, give me a steward!”
– Son, it seems to me that you are already big enough not to shoot my change!
– You’re right, dad! Give me a thousand!

Once Vovochka went to the cinema. A loving couple sat in front of him. The guy hugged the girl and asked: “Honey, do you feel anything?”
– Yes! That you love me, dear! The next day Vovochka comes to kindergarten and pounces on little Mashenka, hugs her close and asks: “Do you feel anything?”
– Nope. He presses her harder: “And now?”
– Yeah!
– What?
– I want to write!

Psychiatrist’s office. Doctor:
– Next! Vovochka crawls into the office, squirming. Doctor:
– Well, who came to us? Snake, turtle, lizard? Vovochka:
– No, doctor, I’m just afraid of heights…

The doorbell rings. Vovochka opens the door
– there is a young guy standing there with a bouquet of flowers. Vovochka looks at him thoughtfully for a while, and then says: “You seem to be frequenting my sister… What, you don’t have one of your own?!”

– Vovochka, why did you curse at the director?
– Yes, the physical education teacher said “go curse the goat,” so I cursed him…

Vovochka says to his father: “Dad, I decided to give you a gift for your birthday!” “The best gift for me,” said dad, “is if you study with straight A’s.”
– It’s too late, dad, I already bought you a tie!

Vovochka tells her friends in the yard: “And now we have everything!”
– How do you know?
– Mom said. When dad brought syphilis from the resort, mom screamed that this was all we needed…

Question to the Armenian radio:
– Is it possible to take the test automatically? Answer:
– It’s possible, but using a grenade launcher is more reliable… Vovochka.

Vovochka became thoughtful as he read on the monitor screen: “Should I delete the folder along with its contents?”