– Vovochka, what is your attitude towards studying?
– I’m a drummer.
– What kind of drummer are you if you study at “2” and “3”?
– And I don’t give a damn.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, how do plants reproduce?
– Plants ? That’s what I don’t know about them…

Vovochka was given a kitten. “What should I call him,” asks Vovochka, “they didn’t tell me whether it was a cat or a cat?” “I’ll tell you tomorrow,” the grandmother promised. In the morning the baby said: “Grandma, I named her Ksyusha!”
– How did you know it was a cat?
– It’s very simple: in the morning she washed her face, then her ears and behind her ears. Yes, only girls can do this!

Father tells Vovochka: “When I was little, I never lied.”
– When did you start lying, dad?

During the lesson, the children were asked to compose a poem on any topic. Vovochka raises his hand first. The teacher says: “Yes, speak Vovochka.”
– Winter .
– Well done Vovochka, good.
– The river is frozen.
– Well done Vovochka.
– There are 2 wolves fucking on the ice.
– Vovochka, this is inconvenient. The teacher speaks.
– Of course, it’s inconvenient to move your paws apart.
– Vovochka two!!!!
– Where is the third one?

First of September. The teacher asks the children to each tell what they did in the summer. Vovochka:
– Mary Ivanna! How do you feel about alcohol? M.I.:
– Negative! Vovochka:
– Then I didn’t do anything…

Second-grader Mashenka spent the night at Vovochka’s, returns home in the morning, and is greeted by her angry mother: “Where have you been all night?” What’s this called?! Mashenka (dreamy):
– I don’t know what it’s called, but it’s a hobby for life!

In class:
– So, let’s solve the problem. In one day at the youth camp, Hans, Georges, Jacques, Pedro and Vasya drank a half-liter bottle of vodka. The question is, how many days would this bottle last for Vasya alone? Vovochka:
– Mary Ivanna, don’t ask stupid questions!

Vovochka broke the glass in his neighbor’s window. His mother scares him:
– While father brings new glass, you will have to cover the hole in the window with your bare ass… Vovochka, through tears:
– Mom, will you replace me for lunch?

Mom and Dad come to visit Vovochka at boarding school. They look and there is a sign nailed to the ground floor: “Good children.”
– Is our Vovochka here?
– No, higher. They go up to the second floor. They see a sign saying “Bad Children.”
– Is our Vovochka here?
– No, even higher. They rise higher. There is a sign on the door:
– Vovochka.