Vovochka knocks on her neighbor’s door with a huge box of toys. She opens it and asks: “What are you doing, Vovochka?”
– Yes, I want to give you some toys for safekeeping, otherwise they brought my brother from the maternity hospital… who knows what kind of person he is…

Little Vovochka asks his mother: “Mom, did our dad poop himself at night?” And then at night, when I went to write, I heard you say: “Well, how long will I continue to crumple this crap in my hands?”

The teacher asks the children what they want to be. Well, who says:
– A doctor, an astronaut, an artist, a lawyer… And Vovochka says:
– Santa Claus. Teacher:
– BUT why? Vovochka:
– And because: Cool profession: you’ve been busy for a week and you’re free for a whole year!

– I’m a Bitsevsky maniac!
– Vovochka loved to shout loudly, and laughed as he watched the passers-by scatter. And he finished off those who didn’t believe it with a crowbar!

Russian language lesson in Ukrainian school. Teacher:
– Vovochka, the word “shablya” is translated into Russian as “saber”, and not as “quietly, girl”…

– Well, what did you get today?
– Dad asks Vovochka. “Four,” the son blurted out.
– Why not five?
– And we only had four lessons.

– Vovochka! Get away from the tiger cage now! “Don’t be afraid, mom, I won’t do anything to them!”

A little girl comes running to her kindergarten teacher, all in tears.
– What’s happened? Who offended you?!
– Vovochka!
– How? “He said that mothers-in-law should be killed in childhood!”

Vovochka tells his desk neighbor: “Yesterday my father spanked me twice.”
– For what?
– The first time was when I showed him the diary. And there are such marks, such notes! And the second was when he realized that it was his old diary.

Vovochka:
– Mom, can I go and pee? Mom: -Have you done your homework?