A policeman to Vovochka, who was lost in a store: “Why are you crying?”
– I lost my parents!
– What are their names?
– Sweetie and Kitty.

Little Vovochka runs out to meet Santa Claus:
– Grandfather Frost, Grandfather Frost, did you bring me a gift?
– Brought it, brought it!.. Bring the corkscrew!

Vovochka comes home with a girl and says: “Mom, dad, this is my future wife Kozenka, she is 8 months pregnant.” Mom and dad are shocked. Vovochka:
– Just kidding. Her name is Masha.

Vovochka came to physical education class, and there was a new teacher
– such a two-meter strong man…
– Hello, children, I am your new teacher, my name is Mrudakov. Please pay attention to the letter “r” after the first letter. It must be pronounced clearly and not upset me. Is everyone clear?!
– It’s clear!
– the frightened children shout. At the next physical education lesson, Vovochka wanted to address the teacher, but as luck would have it, he forgot his last name.
– Well, remember!
– says the big man.
– Uh… I just remember that there is a letter “r” after the first one.
– Well…?!?!?!
– says the teacher.
– A! I remembered!!!!
– Khruev!!!

Vovochka asks the teacher at school: “Marya Ivanovna, is it true that everyone in the police is short?”
– Where did you get the idea? “And dad said that all the cops give a damn to him.”

Father asks Vovochka: “So, son, what do you smell like?”
– Borscht.
– Did you eat borscht?
– No, I was just sitting with the guys who were eating borscht.

There is a dictation in class. At the phrase “The Prince made Cinderella happy with a gift,” Vovochka raises her hand.
– What’s the matter, Vovochka?
– Is the word “arch” masculine?

The phone is ringing. Vovochka picks up the phone:
– Hello? No, Masha can’t come over, her mouth is busy. When I finish, she will call you back. He hangs up and explains to his shocked parents: “We got to the wrong place.”

– Vovochka, who do you listen to more
– mom or dad?
– Mom.
– Why?
– She says more.

Vovochka:
– Mary Ivanovna, I will grow up, become a big and important person, you will be ashamed for giving me bad marks!
– Putin, don’t explain!