Logic lesson, teacher:
– Vovochka, and now you.
– Mary Ivanna, can you see two women with ice cream outside the window?
– I see. -Which one is married, the one who licks ice cream, or the one who sucks?
– Vovochka!..
– But still?
– Probably the one who licks.
– Wrong, Mary Ivanna
– the one with the ring…

Vovochka comes to his mother: “Mom, I took my dad’s car without asking and crashed it!”
– And what did your father say to this?
– Should I lower my checkmate?
– Certainly!
– He remained silent…

Vovochka comes home and says to his father: “Pa, our new classmate is calling you to school.” “What have you done, parasite, there again?”
– Who cares? Go, you won’t regret it
– she’s a great lady in every way!

– Vovochka, why are you late again?
– Mom lost a ruble.
– What do you have to do with it?
– And I stood on it.

A new teacher comes to class: “My name is Abram Davidovich, I’m a liberal.” Now everyone take turns and introduce yourself the same way as I did.
– My name is Masha, I’m a liberal.
– My name is Styopa, I’m a liberal.
– My name is Vovochka, I am a Stalinist.
– Vovochka, why are you a Stalinist?!
– My mother is a Stalinist, my father is a Stalinist, my friends are Stalinists and I am also a Stalinist.
– Vovochka, if your mom was a prostitute, your dad was a drug addict, and your friends were fags, who would you be then?! “Then I would be a liberal.”

History teacher:
– Imagine
– our great-grandfathers had no electricity, no radio, no television… Vovochka:
– That’s why they died.

Vovochka asks her mother: “Mom, what should I give you for your birthday?”
– Give me your good grades.
– ..and cheaper?

Vovochka asks dad: “Dad, what is a fable?”
– this is when animals, for example a donkey and a pig, talk the way you and I do now.

The teacher tells the children a fairy tale in class:
– A little pig comes to a peasant and says:
– Peasant, peasant. Give me an armful of straw!..
– What do you think the peasant answered to the little pig? Vovochka:
– I know, I know! He replied: “That’s mine!” TALKING PIG!!!

Vovochka came to the 1st grade and said: “Marvanna, can I go straight to the third?!” She took him to the director, who tests Vovochka:
– Three times three?
– Nine!
– Five six?
– Thirty!
– Twice seven?
– Fourteen! The director is pleased:
– You can go straight to the third! Mary Ivanna says: “Wait, let me check his logic… Vovochka, why does the cow have four, and I have two?”
– ….legs!
– Right! What do you have in your pants that I don’t? -…pockets! The director couldn’t stand it: “Maria Ivanovna, let’s go straight to the fifth, otherwise, I must admit, I thought wrongly about the last two questions.”