There is a lesson at school. Lesson topic:
– How my grandmother fought the Nazis. Mashenka gets up and says: “My grandmother was a nurse and saved the lives of 10 wounded soldiers, pulling them out of the battlefield.” Pavlik gets up and says: “My grandmother was a teacher and saved the lives of 30 first-graders, taking them away from the bombing.” Vovochka rises: “And my grandmother was behind enemy lines and infected 100 German soldiers with syphilis!”

Father asks Vovochka: “Son, why is the apartment such a mess?”
– Yes, the party was with friends. -Where is the piano?
– Yes, let me listen…

– Vovochka! What did you write in your essay? “Sunday was a beautiful Saturday morning.” How can this be?
– Well, Mary Ivanna, we celebrate the day of the October Revolution in November.

Vovochka comes up to Manechka and says: “Man, can I use you as a woman?”
– You have some vulgar thoughts!
– Man, you’re being vulgar, but my ball rolled into the women’s restroom!

Vovochka, returning home after school:
– Dad, today there is a parent meeting at school… But only for the narrowest circle.
– For the narrowest circle? What does it mean?
– There will be only the teacher and you…

Dima came home from school and told his father: “Today Vovochka called me a bad word at recess.”
– Which one?
– Dad, well, you don’t allow me to say bad words. You name all the ones you know, and I’ll tell you when to stop.

Vovochka comes home: “Dad, this is Masha, she will live with us.”
– For a long time?
– An hour..

– Vovochka, for beating Ivanov, you will have to be punished!
– Well, Mary Ivanna, they said that the winner is not judged.

Teacher in the class:
– Petya!
– A!
– The leg is in the ass! Stand up when you are talking to the teacher! How much is 2+2?
– Well, 5…
– You fool! You won’t make an engineer. Vasya!
– A!
– Your leg is in the ass! Stand up when you are talking to the teacher! How much is 2+2?
– Well, 3…
– You fool! You won’t make an engineer. Vovochka!
– Marya Ivanovna, 2+2 = 4
– Well done, Vovochka, you will be an engineer!
– Marya Ivanovna!
– A!
– The leg is in the ass! Stand up when you’re talking to an engineer!

Vovochka walks along the corridor and thinks to himself:
– Where is the logic? The director comes up and asks: “Why aren’t you in class?” “I farted in class, they kicked me out, but they stayed.” Where is the logic???