Marivanna scolds Vovochka: “Vovochka, a good half of the girls at our school complain that you constantly pester them with indecent proposals!”
– Slander, Marivanna!
– Vovochka answers.
– This is not the good half, but the evil half. Kind responds to my proposals with consent.

– MaryIvanna, Vovochka stole my chewing gum!
– As you put it, he didn’t steal it, he took it. “That’s what I’m saying, MaryIvanna, he took it and stole it!”

School . The teacher asks Vovochka:
– Vovochka, what does your dad do?
– A businessman!
– What does he do?
– Well, never mind, Marvanna, you have questions for first grade!

During a zoology lesson, the teacher asks Vovochka: “Give the name of the bird from the egg.”
– Don’t know!
– And this?
– Don’t know!
– And this?
– I don’t know!
– Ugly bad, boy! What’s your last name? Vovochka, pulling off her panties:
– Determine by the balls!!!

Teacher:
– Vovochka, tell me, where will we end up if we drill into the Earth at the Equator?
– To a madhouse…

Four-year-old Vovochka came into the kitchen: “Dad, I want bullshit.” “Here, son, just wash it and remember
– it’s called a persimmon.”

Grandmother affectionately says to 5-year-old Vovochka: “Look, Vovochka, there’s a “bi-bi” coming.”
– Come on, grandma, this is a BMW 325 iMI 4×4!

– Vovochka! Why did you call Masha a fool? Now go up to her and tell her that you are very sorry.
– Masha, I’m very sorry that you are a fool!

There is a lesson at school. Small children are sitting, the teacher asks:
– Guys! Who knows how you can take 2 watermelons at once? Vovochka immediately raises her hand, the teacher:
– Anyone else? Tanya gets up and says: “I would take one watermelon in one hand, and the other in the other!”
– Good girl, Tanechka!
– says the teacher.
– Who knows how to move 3 watermelons? Vovochka again puts out his hand, but the teacher ignores him. Vasya gets up: “I would take one watermelon in one hand, the other in the other, and I would plant the third on my manhood!”
– Ugh, how disgusting, Vasya! How can you! I understand, if Vovochka said that… Here Vovochka can’t stand it and says:
– Marya Ivanovna, I know how to move 5 (!) watermelons!
– Yes? and how? “I would take one watermelon in one hand, the other in the other, and impale Vasya on his manhood!”

Vovochka is, therefore, making love with Masha, and, suddenly, the door opens and the parents enter. Thoughts of the participants in the scene: Vovochka: “Well, that’s it, now they’ll definitely kill me.” Masha: “Well, now he’ll definitely marry me.” Father: “And my son is growing up.” Mother: “How is she lying? Isn’t he uncomfortable?”