Vovochka is running around the apartment. He throws books off the sideboard, throws clothes around, knocks over chairs. The nanny comes running and asks: “What are you doing?”
– I’m playing a game.
– Which one?
– Where the hell are the car keys!!!

Vovochka approaches her father: “Dad, I’m getting married.” Father:
– On whom? Vovochka:
– On Vaska. Father:
– So this is a boy!!! Vovochka:
– Wow, boy
– 28 years old.

At a math lesson.
– A woman is looking out of the window. What date is this, Vovochka?
– The only thing.
– And if three women look out of the window, then what is that?
– Brothel.

The girl comes out of the bathroom and says to Vovochka: “You have two towels hanging in the bathroom: one under the letter “M”, the other under the letter “F”. I took the one under the letter “F”. Did I understand correctly, “F” is for women, “M” is for men?
– No, “M” is for muzzle…

In short, Vovochka one evening found his parents in the missionary position. Opening his eyes wide, he asked: “Dad, mom, what are you doing, huh?!” Dad was not taken aback and said: “Do you remember, you asked for your brother!?” So I’m bringing my brother to my mother! Happy from ear to ear, Vovochka goes to bed. The next day, dad comes home from work, and Vovochka is hysterical. Yells incessantly.
– Vovochka, what happened???
– A-a-a-a-a!!! Yesterday you introduced your brother, introduced him, and this afternoon our neighbor Uncle Vasya came, and he, he ate him, a-a-a-a!!!

Vovochka, who does everything differently from everyone else, stirred sugar in a glass of tea counterclockwise and summoned Satan.

Vovochka asks her father: “Dad, did your mother ever beat you?”
– No, only yours.

Dad:
– Vovochka! If you don’t stop swearing, your teeth won’t grow! Vovochka:
– And this is a hundred (points to a baby tooth), the f*ck is stolid?!

Marya Ivanovna at an anatomy lesson:
– Who can tell what the largest human organ is? Vovochka:
– Ass, Marya Ivanovna: our whole country is in an ass.

At home, mom asks Vovochka: “Vovochka, why is your diary in the corner?”
– And I punished him for a bad mark!