– What do I care, Vovochka, that they bought you a computer? Explain to me: why in your essay do you put the letter “yu” instead of a period?!

Vovochka comes home from school and says to his father: “Dad, they call you to school tomorrow, I got a couple in biology.”
– What did they ask you?
– The biology teacher called me to the blackboard, showed me the butt of a bird and asked what kind of bird it was… The next day. Morning. Teacher’s room. A bare ass sticks out of the door and its owner says: “Well, guess whose dad it is who has come!?”

– What’s new at school, Vovochka?
– I don’t talk to the dad of a poor student.

– Vovochka, let’s say you have 10 rubles. You asked your father for another 10 rubles. How much money will you have in total?
– 10 rubles, Mary Ivanna.
– Too bad, Vovochka, you don’t know math at all!
– And you, Mary Ivanovna, don’t know my father at all!

– Children, look at this sculpture of a naked man, which Rodin called “The Thinker.” What do you think he’s thinking? Vovochka, do you have an answer?
– Well, there are two options: the first
– how did I forget Viagra, the second
– how can I go home now, when all the clothes in the bathhouse were stolen.

– God, give me a bicycle for the holiday!
– Vovochka, why are you screaming like that? God will hear you, no matter how quietly you speak. “He will hear, but dad from the other room may not hear.”

Vovochka:
– Mom, what are you doing???
– terrified.
– I’m cutting onions.
– You killed Cipollino!
– No, son, he was sold dead!

The Georgian got a job as a Russian language teacher at school, and began writing dictation. Dictates:
– Autumn has come. A yellow leaf fell from a tree. Vovochka:
– What is a yellow leaf? Georgian:
– I don’t know, a bird, probably.

– Vovochka!
– the mother says sternly.
– Why weren’t you at school yesterday?
– I gave a gift to the teacher.
– What gift?
– Yesterday was her birthday. So I decided
– let him rest without me.

First lesson. The teacher meets the children:
– Vovochka, what’s your last name?
– And my last name, Maryivanna, is such that you put it in your mouth every day.
– Don’t be insolent, X%%v!
– You’re wrong. Lozhkin!