Vovochka’s mother boasts to a friend: “My son is already studying English and algebra.” Vovochka, say hi to your aunt in algebra.

Vovochka sits on a bench and cries. Mary Ivanovna approaches him.
– Vovochka, why are you crying?
– Mary Ivanna, sit down. You see, I’m crying because my mother will scold me, I shouldn’t have sat on the painted bench…

The grandmother persuades her grandson: “Vovochka, you need to eat porridge!” Porridge is our mother! Vovochka, irritated: “I don’t want to eat porridge, motherfucker!”

The lesson at school is already coming to an end when Vovochka noisily bursts into the classroom. Teacher:
– Vovochka, why is it so late? Vovochka:
– You see, I left the house for school, and there was such a blizzard on the street, such a blizzard, I was a step forward, and I was two steps back, I was a step forward, and I was two steps back… Teacher:
– Wait, if you are a step forward, and you are two steps back, then how did you even get to school? Vovochka:
– And I saw
– such a blizzard, I spat on everything and went home.

– Vovochka, what class are you in?
– In economy class.
– How is this?
– In our class, everyone has simple parents.

Russian language lesson:
– Children, think of three words starting with the letter D. Everyone is silent. Vovochka:
– Demagoguery, Devaluation, Democracy.
– Clever words, how do you know?
– From dad. -What do they mean?
– Demagoguery is when mom says that hard dick is better than soft, devaluation is when mom exchanged her husband’s golden heart for her neighbor’s iron dick, and democracy is when they tell you to fuck off, and you go wherever you want.

– Hello, doctor? Come quickly! Our Vovochka swallowed a live mouse!
– I’m on my way now. For now, open his throat wider and hold the piece of cheese. Maybe she’ll come out on her own. The doctor arrives and sees that they are shaking a sprat in front of Vovochka’s throat.
– What are you doing? What did I tell you? you have to keep the cheese.
– Yes, we’re already luring the cat out…

Vovochka returned home late. Mom asks: “Where have you been?”
– Yes, at Petka’s, we did our homework. Vovochka’s mother calls Petka: “Have you ever had Vovochka?”
– Yes, he is still here.

– Vovochka, how do you say “read” in French?
– Just like in Russian: take a book, open it, look at the lines…

Botany lesson. The teacher asks what is the most favorable time for picking apples: Petya:
– August. Tanya:
– September. Vovochka:
– When the dog is tied.