Mom says to Vovochka: “Vovochka, you threw bricks at Uncle Misha again.” Vovochka:
– I won’t be a mother anymore. Mom:
– And he doesn’t need any more.

Vovochka was away from school for three days. Comes on the fourth. His teacher asks: “Vovochka, where have you been?”
– Yes, you understand, Marya Ivanovna, my grandfather died.
– Oh, Vovochka, what a pity, but what happened?
– You see, my grandfather is old, 70 years old, we live on the 8th floor. He climbed the stairs and, entering the apartment, lay down to rest. He lay down on the sofa, lit a cigarette and fell asleep. The cigarette fell on the floor and a fire started.
– Oh, did grandpa burn out?
– Not really. The neighbors managed to call the firefighters, the grandfather woke up, saw the fire and jumped out the window.
– Did grandpa crash?
– No, no. The firefighters managed to pull up the tarpaulin and the grandfather landed in the very middle, but he rebounded and flew back to the 8th floor.
– Did your grandfather burn out?
– No. He managed to jump out again.
– Did grandpa crash?
– No. He again fell onto the tarpaulin and again bounced to the 8th floor.
– Did your grandfather burn out?
– No. He managed to jump out again.
– So Vovochka: why did grandfather die?
– Yes, the firefighters shot him
– he got them.

Vovochka looks out the window. Suddenly he jumps back in horror and runs to his mother.
– Mother !
– Vovochka shouts.
– Dad is coming! What should we show him first
– my diary or your new dress?

Vova caught a bee and holds it by the wing.
– Drop her!
– Mom screams.
– She’s bad!
– Well, if I leave her, it will be bad for me.

– Vovochka, have you seen a bottle of mouthwash?
– So I threw it away.
– For what? It was still almost full! “Well, I see you tried the remedy and spat it out, dad tried it and spat it out.” So I thought, why keep this disgusting thing in the bathroom.

– Vovochka, why do you come to school with dirty hands?
– I don’t have any others!

The husband, wife and Vovochka live in a one-room apartment. The father says: “Sit down, Vovochka, by the window and tell me what’s happening on the street.” Vovochka sat down and explained:
– Pussy ran across the road… The Ivanovs, who live opposite, also made love
– They sat Yurka by the window.

Logic lesson, teacher:
– Vovochka, and now you.
– Marya Ivanovna, can you see two women with ice cream outside the window?
– I see. -Which one is married, the one who licks ice cream, or the one who sucks?
– Vovochka!..
– But still?
– Probably the one who licks.
– Wrong, Marya Ivanovna, the one with the ring…

The doorbell rings. Vovochka comes up and asks: “Who’s there?” In response, a rough male voice: “None of your business.” Is mom home?
– Why do you need it?
– I want to fuck!
– There is no mom, there is dad. You can suck him off!

Vovochka calls her mother at work: “Mom, don’t wait for me tonight.”
– Why, Vovochka?
– Because I’m already home.