– Vovochka, tell me, if one plus one is two, and two plus two is four, how much is four plus four?
– This is unfair, Marivanna! You always answer the easy questions, but I get the hardest ones…

Near the monument to Pushkin, Vovochka asks the guide: “Tell me, who is this monument for?”
– Pushkin, boy.
– Who wrote “Mumu”?
– No, boy, “Mumu” ​​was written by Turgenev.
– How is it that Turgenev wrote “Mumu”, but a monument to Pushkin?

– May go out?
– Vovochka, no one comes out before the bell rings!
– Marivanna, I happen to be riding in the same minibus with you!

Vovochka comes to school, her head is bandaged.
– What’s happened?
– The urine hit my head.
– ?
– Do you think the pot flew past?

“Well, guess,” the teacher addresses the class, “what danger does the road sign that depicts an adult holding a child’s hand warn about?” Vovochka:
– CAUTION
– PEDOPHILES!

During a biology lesson, Maria Ivanovna asks Vovochka: “Vovochka, what is the name of the domestic animal whose meat you usually eat?”
– Soy.

Vovochka returned from kindergarten and told his parents: “We have a new teacher.” But the old one is not dead yet. Strange…

Vovochka shouts from the bathroom: “Mom, what kind of shirt will you give me?”
– With short sleeves! Why did you ask?
– To know where to wash your hands!

During a lesson at school, children talk about their parents. Petya:
– My dad is a traffic cop, we have a lot of money, we live in abundance. Vasya:
– My mother is a prostitute, we have a lot of money, we live in abundance. Vovochka gets up: “And my Dad is a Truck Driver, if it weren’t for the traffic cops and prostitutes, we would also live in abundance.”

Teacher:
– Vovochka, don’t come to school tomorrow without your parents!
– And the day after tomorrow?