First biology lesson with a new teacher. He calls Vovochka to the board and says: “Here are different types of eggs from different birds laid out.” For example, what kind of bird are these from?
– Don’t know.
– What about these?
– Don’t know.
– Well, what about these?
– I don’t know!
– Sit down, it’s very bad. What is your name? Vovochka gets up, takes off his pants and says: “Can you tell by the balls?!”

When their eyes first met, Vovochka was confused. Either because he fell in love, or because he was shitting behind the garage at that moment…

Vovochka comes home and says: “Mom, I have 2 news for you: good and bad.”
– Well, let’s get the good one first.
– I got an A in mathematics.
– Very good! What about the bad one?
– I lied.

Vovochka comes home from school and says to her parents: “I don’t know why our teacher liked you so much, but she wants to see you again…

During a biology lesson, the teacher asks: “Vovochka, please name five pets.”
– Two cats and three dogs!

On the street, a man turns to Vovochka: “Baby, why aren’t you at school?”
– Go to hell, my psychological age is 38 years old.

Vovochka comes to kindergarten and complains to the teacher: “I’m asking my parents if it’s possible for me to have a brother or sister?” And they say that they found me in the cabbage, and so far there is no one else there. So I pierced all their condoms with scissors, let them look more closely.

The teacher says during the lesson: “It is important to know how to behave correctly in nature.” Yesterday in the forest I saw a viper and it didn’t bite me, but all because… From the back desk, Vovochka finishes the sentence: “Because they don’t touch their own!”

During a chemistry lesson, the teacher asks: “Masha, what color solution did you get?”
– Red.
– Well done! Sit down, five. Petenka, what color did you get the solution?
– Orange.
– Not bad! Sit down, four. Vovochka, what color did you get the solution?
– Black.
– Two! Class, lie down!!!

Vovochka comes home from school on September 1st. Throwing his briefcase into the corner, he stands in front of his parents and yells: “So the stork brought me, right?” They found me in the cabbage, right? Well, you assholes… I got out of F***, okay? Tomorrow I’ll go to school and find out how I got there!!!