The most popular question in Russia after Putin’s press conference is where this beautiful Russia is located and how to get there.

There were no young girls in the entrance, so the grandmothers on the bench called the janitor a prostitute.

In a crowded trolleybus, a man with a dozen eggs makes his way to the exit:
– Let me through, I have eggs! Everyone lets him through, only one Georgian turns: “What about my peaches?”

Does a notary have the right to poke my head into the papers if I sign in the wrong place for the fifth time?

– Expensive! I read here that during sex a man burns as many calories as if he ran 9 kilometers!
– Yes, you are truly a world champion! 9 km in 2 minutes!!

The biology teacher asks:
– When should you pick apples? Petya:
– In August! Masha:
– In September! Vovochka, with the air of an expert:
– When the dog is tied!

The nurse gives Vovochka a painful injection.
– Be patient. I’ll vaccinate you and you won’t get sick. “I may not, but I’ll definitely be an ass!”

My mother and I went to the store to buy groceries. The cashier starts punching the cottage cheese, stops, thinks and starts looking for the expiration date. She found it, looked at it and with a clear conscience put the cottage cheese in our bag. Mom:
– Well, are we going to live? Cashier (with an imperturbably serious face):
– Until the twenty-fourth!

The grandmother began to suspect that her granddaughter in Moscow was not working as a teacher after she milked a cow in a minute and a half.

Medvedev decided to pass a law to increase state. fees for divorce up to 30,000 rubles, so as not to get divorced. The next step will be a law on a paid death certificate so that people don’t die. They take care of us…