Grandmother and granddaughter played school for two weeks. And only at the end of the second week, grandma found out that she was doing her homework for her.

Children’s camp. Lights out. Children on phones. Someone listens to music, someone texts. Counselor:
– Everyone handed over their phones to me! Collected it in a bag… In the morning the counselor shouted:
– BITCHES! … Before handing over their cell phone, each child set an alarm clock on it! For 2 nights, 3, 4, 5… and so on until the morning!

Vovochka comes up to her grandmother and says: “Grandma, at school they teach us to tell only the truth, so I decided to confess to you.” Last year I ate a jar of jam, and so you wouldn’t notice, I shit in it… Grandfather abruptly jumps up from his chair, hits his grandmother on the head and yells: “I told you it was shit, but you got sugared, sugared.”

A man’s testicles got sick. The doctors say it needs to be cut. The man is in a panic. On the advice of a friend, he goes to his grandmother. Grandma, after listening:
– And-and-ish, cut!!! They just have to cut! Here you are, sick man, drink this decoction. Wow, well done. Now jump, they will fall off on their own.

At 3 a.m. the doorbell rings: “Who’s there?”
– Robbers, we need 100 kg of gold.
– Don’t you need 105 kg??
– Well, let’s go to 105.
– Ksyushenka, honey, get up, they’ve come for you.

Children:
– But my dad is not there…
– How do you mean “no”
– And three years ago he packed a suitcase with laundry and went to the bathhouse.
– Does it take that long to wash?
– Don’t know. Grandma says that he has completely disappeared.