Wife:
– You guys only have sex on your mind, but we women need attention… Husband:
– Attention, now there will be sex!

The inscription on the doors of the convent: “Sex with young innocent nuns 500 USD.” e.” Seryoga knocked, a lovely nun opened the door, accepted the money and said: “I’ll get ready for now, and please go along the corridor to the last door on the right.” Seryoga quickly slipped to the doors, opened them, found himself back on the street, and the doors closed. He turned around and saw the inscription on the door: “Today Sister Maria fucked you.”

– Hey, baby! Do you want long and repeated sex?
– No.
– Then I was simply created for you!

I gave up sex, drugs and alcohol, and I finally had money for rope and soap…

– Monya, what does your wife say when she wants sex?
– What does she want to have sex…
– What do you say when you want sex?
– I’ll be late at work.

Does your wife scream during sex?
– Yes, when I wipe my dick on the curtain.

If you are undressing a girl and her panties and bra are the same color, know that it was not you who decided that there will be sex today.

After sex, he turned to the wall and started snoring. But she wasn’t offended by him at all, because she fell asleep during sex.

Friends share how March 8 passed with their lovers.
– It was terrible! Imagine, he took me home, straight to bed, 5 minutes later he came and fell asleep. What a nightmare!
– Oh, but everything was like in a dream! We went to a restaurant and drank amazing wine. We went to him, two hours of foreplay, an hour of sex itself, and then another whole hour we talked about everything! Super! At the same time, two men meet on the other side of the city.
– It was a great evening! We immediately went to my place, my brains didn’t compost, we had sex, I fell asleep, slept well, I was in a great mood!
– And I have some kind of horror. I had to drag myself to the restaurant
– there the waiter, damn it, brought the most expensive wine. Inconvenient, I had to take it. We came home and I couldn’t get up for two hours, couldn’t finish for an hour, then couldn’t sleep for an hour…

The husband decided to unexpectedly visit his wife on a business trip. I arrived, immediately got into bed, violent sex, violent orgasm. From behind the wall there are shouts: “Quiet down, please!” Because of you, I haven’t been able to sleep for five nights!