Our sponsor is delivery from a sex shop. Delivery from a sex shop
– you’re fucked!

“Today we’ll have sex like a bee.”
– How is that? Perhaps you will smear me with honey and lick me all over?
– No. You will fly up, suck and fly away.

My girlfriend has a runny and stuffy nose. During sex she said: “fuck me!” like the Owl from Winnie the Pooh. They couldn’t continue, they laughed almost all night.

Nastya didn’t know how to kiss, and on the first date she had to have sex.

Guy on a first date:
– In short, let’s go to the sauna, let’s kill two birds with one stone
– we’ll relax and have sex. The girl’s face showed complete indignation: “I’m not against sex, but I won’t kill hares!”

– What needs to be removed from sex so that it stops being banal?
– Letter B

– Izya, do you like threesomes?
– Yes, but what?
– So run home quickly, maybe you’ll still have time!

– Darling, let’s not have sex today. My head hurts so much. “Darling, I’m very worried about your headaches. You’ll probably have to spend the money we saved for your fur coat on medicine.

– Dear, I found two ways to lose weight: The first is to walk from Tula to Moscow
– What are you talking about, it’s too far! What’s the second one?
– The second is two hours of sex every day… .
– Get ready for the road! It’s just a stone’s throw from Moscow here

Rabinovich comes to a brothel, picks up a young lady and has sex with her. Then, out of nowhere, the police burst in with a raid. They lined everyone up in the corridor and conducted an inquiry: “Who are you?” Prostitute?
– No, what are you talking about! I’m a masseuse!
– And you?
– And I’m doing a pedicure! Rabinovich cannot stand it and says: “No, just look at these beauties!” Now it turns out that I’m the prostitute here!