A girl who came to kindergarten in a new pink dress, when asked: “Who bought it for you?”, proudly answered: “I cried!”

– Damn, Lesha, I sent the child to the store for pasta and he’s been gone for the 3rd hour! What to do?!
– Well, I don’t know… Cook dumplings!

In ancient Greece, the birth of children from a husband who had been on a military campaign for 5 years was quite common, and the ancient Greeks dubbed this phenomenon Zeus.

A new geography teacher comes to class, and there is cackling, squealing, etc. She says: “Hello, children.” And she answered: “Get out of here, bitch.” She sobs and flies out of the classroom and to the director. And he tells her: “You have to do it differently with them: you have to first surprise and interest them.” He goes to class, and the teacher trails behind him. The door, as expected, opens with his foot:
– Great, guys…
– Great, director.
– How about putting a weak condom on the globe?
– What is a globe? “But the new teacher will tell you about this.”

I went back to work after vacation, I feel like children in kindergarten
– I want to cry and go home!

After watching a patriotic film, the teacher asks the children who liked which episodes. One was a soldier’s feat. Another was how a nurse saved a wounded man. And Vovochka says: “I liked the drug addict the most.” “What are you talking about, Vovochka, there wasn’t a drug addict there. There was, he was always inhaling and saying: “You have a good plan, Comrade Zhukov.”

Teacher:
– Children, tell me where does dew come from on the grass? Vovochka:
– It’s the grass that sweats!

“I’m leaving,” the woman says to the new nanny.
– Don’t forget to put the children to bed on time. Arriving home, she asked the nanny how the children behaved.
– Very good. I put everyone to bed. Only your eldest, the red-haired one, resisted very much. So naughty.
– Ginger?! This is my husband!

The mother of one is naive and inexperienced, like a new recruit in the army.
– The mother of two children is calm and confident, like a demobilizer.
– The mother of three children is SPECIAL FORCES.

September 1st. 1st grade. The teacher says:
– Children, you have come to school. Here you need to sit quietly, and if you want to ask something, you need to raise your hand. Vovochka reaches out her hand… Teacher:
– Do you want to ask something?
– No, I just do it. Checking how the system works!