During a lesson at school:
– Children, do you know where electricity comes from? Vovochka:
– I know! From the jungle.
– Why do you think so? “And this morning, when dad wanted to shave, he said: “Those monkeys turned off the electricity again!”

A student comes home with a bandaged hand. His parents ask what’s wrong with him.
– We were doing experiments in chemistry class, and citric acid got on my hand.
– So what? It doesn’t leave burns.
– Yes, but my neighbor decided to neutralize it and poured NaOH on my hand.

Nowadays, there are three types of men: 3D (house, tree, children), 3B (grandmothers, bathhouse, women) and 3T (slippers, tanks, TV)…. the first type is dying out.

A biology teacher proves to students the harm of alcohol. He takes a worm, throws it into a glass of alcohol
– the worm is dead. Throws another worm into a glass of water
– the worm lives.
– Children, what conclusion can be drawn from this? Vovochka:
– If you drink alcohol, there will be no worms!

– How many students are in your class?
– With the teacher
– eighteen.
– Therefore, without her
– seventeen.
– Eh, no! There won’t be a soul left in the class without a teacher!

“Adults don’t swear in front of children, children don’t swear in front of adults.” A funny game of society playing decent people.

-Are you ready kids?
– Yes, captain!
– I can’t hear!
– THAT’S EXACTLY, captain! -Who lives at the bottom of the ocean?
– The economy of our great country.
– Oooooooooo…

I’m standing in line at the dentist. Ahead of me is a mother with a crying child of about five years old. Mom:
– Don’t cry, you’re a man! Boy:
– I’m a wimp, just get me out of here…

– Mom, mom! The Christmas tree is on fire!
– Son, it doesn’t burn, it shines.
– Mom, mom! The curtains are shining!

Fire in Texas, at a school:
– Throw me children, I will catch them!
– one fireman shouted to another.
– OK. A few minutes later: “Don’t you catch blacks?”
– Aah, fuck… I thought you were throwing burnt ones!