The teacher asks the children what they want to be. Well, everyone says, a doctor, an astronaut, an artist… And Vovochka is Santa Claus. Teacher:
– But why? Vovochka:
– That’s why! Cool profession: a week of fussing and a year free!

The boy is asked: “What are you afraid of?” Answers:
– Dentists and darkness.
– Why are you afraid of the dark?
– There are plenty of dentists there!

The gypsies look at their children, and they run dirty around him. The gypsy woman asks: “What are you thinking about?” “Yes,” he says, “I think.” Wash these or get new ones.

The best way to teach kids about taxes is to eat 13% of their ice cream.

My daughter and I went to the doctor. The doctor showed pictures of a cow, a pig, a sheep and a horse, and asked to name these animals in one word.
– Cattle! The doctor laughed and said that, in fact, that’s correct, but you need to say “pets.” Without hesitation, my daughter said: “That’s already two words!”

“But I remember there was only one guy in our kindergarten.” He beat everyone. Except me. I was strong and always fought back. For this I was kicked out of kindergarten.
– ???
– Well, they said that the guard should not fight with children.

The biology teacher decided to practically prove to her students about the dangers of smoking. He takes a worm, throws it into a glass of alcohol
– it dies immediately. Throws a worm into a glass of nicotine, also dead. Throws a worm into a glass with egg yolk
– the worm lives.
– Children, what conclusion can be drawn from this? Vovochka:
– If you don’t drink and smoke, then worms will start in your eggs!

– I really want to go back to kindergarten! I undertake to sleep during the day, not break toys and eat semolina porridge.
– Go to a psychiatrist and tell him that you see little green men and hear their voices. I don’t promise kindergarten, but everything else will happen.

Russian language lesson in a Georgian school. Gogi:
– Take note, my hand is not moving! Teacher:
– Gogi, YOUR pen is not writing, MY pen is not writing, HIS pen is not writing, HER pen is not writing, THEIR pen is not writing… Got it, right?! Gogi:
– Got it, our industry produces bad pens!

In short, the teacher asks:
– Children, what is the fastest thing in the world? Children:
– Car… plane… rocket. One stands up and says: “The fastest thing is thought.” Here I am, but in my mind I can be in the village with my grandmother. And then Vovochka gets up and says: “Marya Ivanovna, in my opinion, the fastest thing is diarrhea.” Before you have time to think, your pants are already full.