I want to go to Hawaii! Everything is there! Sand for the children, sun for the wife… sharks for the mother-in-law.

A woman rides in a taxi. I drove up to the house and remembered that I had forgotten my wallet. I told the driver. Without saying a word, he turns around and brings her to the forest. He takes out a sheet and spreads it on the grass. Woman in horror:
– What are you doing? I have three children!
– And I have forty rabbits! Tear up the grass and put it here!

Teacher: Children, tell me some poems! Masha: The priest had a dog, he loved her! Vovochka: I found this in the zooporn section!

– Children, how do you understand the saying “The miser pays twice”? Misha, tell us!
– Well, for example, we bought an electric meat grinder for 1.5 thousand rubles on sale. It broke and repairs were very expensive!
– Right! What do you want to tell us, Vovochka?
– It happens that a station prostitute is no worse than a foreign exchange prostitute, but the treatment is expensive and lengthy…

The father says to his son: “Vovochka, you are already six years old, and I must tell the truth, where children come from.”
– Well… At the age of three I learned that there was no brownie living with us, at four
– that Baba Yaga does not exist, at five
– that Santa Claus does not exist. If now it turns out that adults don’t fuck, then what is there left to believe in?!

– Dad, where do children come from?
– From where adults are then sent.

A smart woman will always let her husband go fishing! And a wise woman also has children!

One day little Vovochka comes to school on September 1 and says to little Lenochka: “And I know what needs to be done to have children.” Lenochka answers: “And I know what needs to be done to prevent them from happening.”

Conversation between father and child (3 years old)
– Dad, when I grow up and graduate from kindergarten, where will I go?
– To school.
– And then?
– To the institute.
– And then?
– To work.
– And then?
– Um… to retire.
– Yes?.. And when will I live?

The maniac sprayed the money with poison and donated it to an orphanage. Twenty deputies, two mayors and one minister were killed. The children were not harmed.