Carlson and Cheburashka are walking through the attic. Carlson says: “Well, let’s go on a flight?”
– No, wait, your ears are tired, let them rest.

– Sidorov! My patience has run out! Don’t come to school tomorrow without your father!
– And the day after tomorrow?

Vovochka in kindergarten looks carefully at the teacher’s manicure and says: “Olga Alexandrovna, your nails are so long.”
– Yes. Like?
– Like. Climbing trees is probably good.

In connection with recent events, and information that a deferment is given to those who have 4 or more dependent children under 16… I think it’s time to write to all your exes and do Paternity tests!

– Boy, boy, how old are you?
– Soon it will be ten.
– And now?
– Four.

At the cinema:
– Boy, this is the fifth time you’ve bought a ticket from me! “It’s not my fault that some woman at the entrance tears them up all the time!”

There are jokes that are equally loved by both adults and children. True, adults believe that they cannot be told in front of children, and children believe that they cannot be told in front of adults.

An ant and an elephant sneak towards their enemies. Ant:
– Elephant! Hide! I’ve already been spotted!

The teacher asks the student:
– What is the passive participle?
– This… which suffers…
– So, I am a sacrament?
– Why?
– Because I suffer from such students!

A Georgian, a Jew, a Chukchi and a Russian are flying on the plane. Suddenly a pilot runs in and says: “The plane is falling, and there are only 4 parachutes.” He took the parachute and jumped. There are 3 left. The Georgian says: “I have 20 children, I need to jump.” 2 parachutes left. Jew:
– Well, my nation is the smartest, I also need to jump. 1 parachute left. The Russian says: “Chukchi, you jump, and I, as the bravest, will die.” The Chukchi replies: “Well, you are a fool, though.” Jump with me, I gave a backpack to a Jew, he’s smart, he’ll come up with something…