– So, children who will study for fours and fives will go to heaven, and those who have only ones, twos and threes will definitely go to HELL!
– Excuse me, but is there no way to finish school alive?

I read a fairy tale to my daughter: “My father had three sons: the eldest was a smart kid, the middle son was this and that, the youngest was a complete fool…”
– Mom, was their father sick or something?
– Where did you get the idea?
– What did he do worse and worse each time?

-Where did you work before?
– At school, as a Spanish teacher.
– Do you know Spanish?
– No. That’s why I decided to leave after a year.

In kindergarten, children are taught to count to six. Everyone counted to six, and Vovochka said: “Marya Ivanovna, but I can go on!”
– Well done, we are all listening to you.
– Seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king, ace.

At a parent meeting:
– Comrade Sidorov, your son writes completely moronic essays!
– Gee-gee-gee!

Odessa court:
– Tsilya Moiseevna, what do you have to say about the reasons for the divorce? Does your husband earn little? Can’t help around the house? Maybe he doesn’t work with children? Or, I’m embarrassed to ask, does it not satisfy you as a woman?
– Oh, sho V, Your Honor! Izya does all this! But V.B. saw what a face he had!

– What event is significant in 1799?
– Pushkin was born…
– And 1812?
– Pushkin turned 13 years old!

In kindergarten, savvy teachers came up with a competition for children during quiet hours: whoever falls asleep first gets to stay awake!..

During the music lesson, the children listened to a waltz from Prokofiev’s ballet Cinderella. Seryozha was not interested in this; he fidgeted and disturbed others. The teacher called him and asked: “What were we listening to just now?” “Cinderella’s dance,” Seryozha answered after thinking.
– What was she dancing for?
– Break!

In kindergarten they ask Vovochka
– Do you keep any animals at home? Proudly answers: “Here we go!” Cat and frozen mackerel!