Interrogation by the KGB.
– Surname ?
– Sakharov.
– Or more precisely?
– Sakharovich.
– Or rather!
– Zuckerman.
– Are there any children?
– No.
– It says here that there is.
– These are not children
– these are geeks.
– Do you have any relatives abroad?
– No.
– It says here that there is!
– They are at home, and I am abroad…

A seven-year-old daughter says to her parents: “Dad and mom, why isn’t there anything written on you?”
– Why should something be written on us?
– And so that I can fulfill the commandment: HONOR YOUR PARENTS!

How much time has passed, but I can’t answer three questions! 1) How could Mr. Krabs have a daughter, a whale! 2) How the Catdog poops 3) How was the donkey able to pull off the dragon from Shrek?????

The family gets dad ready for work in the morning. The daughter says: “Dad, don’t go to work, stay with us.”
– Natasha, but if dad doesn’t go to work, we won’t have anything to eat.
– Well, yes. Dad will eat everything.

– Musenka, why do you look so thoughtful?
– Oh, Riva, I look at my children and think: “Did I give it to him?”

A young trainee is teaching a lesson in the classroom. Vovochka writes her a note: “I love you!” The teacher writes the answer: “I can’t stand children!!!” Vovochka answers: “I guarantee there will be no children.”

Mom asks her son: “There were two pieces of cake in the buffet, but now there is only one.” Can you explain this?
– Certainly! It was dark and I didn’t notice the second piece!

Yesterday I went to visit a friend. We sit and drink tea, her daughter (5 years old) is with us. We chat, her daughter takes a sip and says with a smart look: “Horace!” Me with huge wild eyes: “Aska, you know Horace, does his mother read to you?!” Here the friend, choking, apparently frantically remembers who he is. And the girl with condescension in her voice: “Tsai Horace, you’ve become a lover!”

We’re leaving the kindergarten. I ask my daughter how and what. He says: “The teacher scolded me today!”
– For what? Have you behaved badly?
– No, okay. It’s just that when everyone was drawing, I was quietly jumping on the table.

The quieter the child sits in the next room, the scarier it is to go there…