“I attacked the wrong one!” A boy in braces screamed at a bitten dog.

The boy is taken to the hospital. The doctor asks him: “What’s bothering you?” “It’s nothing to me, my grandmother is just worried that I swallowed the alarm clock.”

The mother sent her son for sour cream. He walks into the store, puts the can on the floor: “Baby, what do you want?”
– Mom asked for sour cream.
– A full can for you?
– Mom said yes. She poured him a full can and asked: “Now pay.”
– Mom said
– the money is in the can…

Trudovik to student: “Smirnov, why did you go into the socket
– do you want to be bandaged like Tutankhamun?!”

Find a job like dad wants, marry whoever mom wants, have children to make grandma happy, make sure everyone else is happy, shoot yourself.

– Today, children, we will write a dictation.
– Mary Ivanna, I can’t!
– Why, Vovochka? “And I’m sexually tired today.”
– And you, Vovochka, write with the other hand.

Religion lesson. Law teacher for children:
– What do we do when we fast?
– Comment and like!

Atheism lesson at school, the teacher says to the children:
– Children, shout at the sky
– there is no God! Suddenly he notices that the Jewish boy is standing silently. She asks him: “Why are you silent?” And he answers her: “If there is no one there, then why shout?” And if there is someone there, then why spoil the relationship?

A sweater is a warm woolen garment that a child puts on when his mother is cold.

Phone call:
– Boy, is anyone at home?
– Dad, but he’s very busy and can’t come…
– And mom?
– Yes, but she’s very busy and can’t come up… (then they call grandparents, firefighters, police, etc.)
– What are they doing!!!
– They’re looking for me!