– Son! Who taught you such a terrible word?
– Santa Claus, mommy, when he tripped over my bicycle in my room at night…

At a party, a girl of about six approaches all the guests with a piece of paper on which some kind of scrawl is drawn.
– What is this? First guest:
– Well, it’s probably a horse, right? Here’s the mane, here’s the tail… On to the next one.
– What is this? Second guest:
– This is a flower. Here are the petals, and here is the stem, right? Same question for the third one.
– Yes, it’s a butterfly. Oh, how beautiful. Only one of her wings turned out to be a little crooked… The girl walked around everyone, then turns around and loudly: “You are all sick!” This is the Middleton test!!!

The teacher calls the students to the board to solve problems. Two lazy people got scared and hid under the desk. But the teacher noticed this and said: “Hey, get out!” Have you decided to hide?
– No, we’re here picking up a fallen pen.
– Why together?
– It’s a serious infection!

– Grandmother ! When will I get your jewelry?
– Not soon, granddaughter. Your mom will get them first…

The first child
– everything was boiled and sterilized. Second child
– sometimes they did laundry and made sure that the child did not eat from the cat’s bowl. Third child
– if he ate cat food, then it’s the cat’s problem…

Mom says to her son: “Play the piano and I’ll buy you a popsicle!”
– And dad promised to buy me two popsicles if I didn’t play.

Teacher:
– You won’t be able to drive me crazy, Saenko! Just know it! Why are you silent? Sayenko! Oh, he didn’t come today…

Children today we pass monkeys:
– Vovochka, don’t look out the window, there are no monkeys there.
– So the children all look at me.

A little boy comes home from kindergarten all scratched up. Dad asks: “What’s the matter?”
– Yes, there were round dances around the Christmas tree.
– So what?
– The Christmas tree is big, but there are few children!

Dad asks Petya: “How did your mother find out that you didn’t wash your face?” “I just forgot to wet the soap.”