A boy stands in the middle of the yard and shouts to the whole entrance:
– MOM, MOM! WELL MOM, WELL MOMAAA! MOM, MOM, MOMAAA!!! A frightened woman runs out onto the balcony: “What happened that you’re screaming like that?”
– Call dad!

In a zoology lesson at school:
– Children, what is the sexiest insect?
– Bedbug, Marya Ivanovna.
– Why, Vovochka?
– He never gets out of bed.

The first grader came home sad. The mother asked: “What, did you get a bad grade again?” “Yeah,” the schoolboy sighed heavily, “I wish I could retire soon.”

Quirks of our weather: children were waiting for spring break, but winter came…

My sister came to visit with two children, 2 and 5 years old. The cat immediately pretended to be dead!

– Boy, what street do you live on?
– I live at home, but I walk on the street.

– I hate children, I hate them! After all, the scoundrel knows that grandfather has no teeth, so she gave me a chocolate bar with nuts for Christmas!

During a history lesson, the teacher asks: “Children, who is Spartak?”
– “Spartak” is a champion!
– the children answer.

On September 1, the teacher meets the children. Children, tell us who your parents are and how you live. Mashenka:
– My mother is a prostitute, I live well. Sashenka: “And my dad is a traffic cop, and I also live well.” Vovochka:
– My dad is a truck driver and if it weren’t for these prostitutes, with the traffic cops, I would also live well!

A boy enters a subway car and says: “Good people!” Help as much as you can… Everyone in our family is poor: poor mother, poor father, gardener, cook, and driver…