– Vovochka, what subject do you like at school?
– The physicist has a cell phone
– it’s bad!

Distant future. The century is something like the 30th. School is in session. Teacher:
– Vovochka, tell me, what is a language? Vovochka:
– The tongue is a genital organ that the ancients used for communication.

Vovochka:
– Marya Ivanovna! Do you know the similarities between advertising and swearing?
– What is it, Vovochka?
– And the fact is that any joke repeated many times becomes vulgar.

– Mom, why does Vovochka have such a thing between her legs, but I don’t?
– Don’t worry, daughter, when you grow up, you will have a lot of such things!

Grandmother:
– Vovochka! Wash your neck. Aunt Vera will come today.
– And if she doesn’t come, I’ll just walk around like a fool with my neck washed?!

There is a lesson at school. “Kolya,” says the teacher, what is 2*2? Silent.
– Yeah, you don’t know! Why didn’t you learn?! “Mom wasn’t at home, there was no one to help.”
– Sit down. Two. Tolya Ivanov, how much is 2*2? And you don’t know! Why?
– Dad came late…
– Sit down. Two. Vovochka, can you tell me how much it will be…
– I don’t know. Yesterday our brother returned from prison and started a fight with his neighbors. So I didn’t have time…
– Do you want to intimidate me with your brother? Sit down! Three!

70s. The father teaches the poor student
– Vovochka:
– Study well, play sports, and then, when you grow up, you will also have beautiful lovers
– gymnasts, and you will also drive around the country in the latest model of Zhiguli!

Vovochka approaches a pregnant woman and asks: “Do you love your baby?” And the woman puts her hand on her stomach and says: “Well, of course I love you!!!” Vova says in amazement: “So why did you eat it?”

September 1st. Vovochka comes from school. Dad asks: “Well, how do you like it, Vovochka, your first teacher?”
– The first was the teacher.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, say a word starting with the letter “es”.
– Essence, Mary Ivanna.