Vovochka puts galoshes on her boots. Mom tells him: “Vovochka, it’s dry outside
– there’s no dirt.”
– And I found it.

Marivanna:
– Vovochka, who did your homework? Vovochka:
– I don’t know! Honestly, I already fell asleep.

Vovochka shouts from the bathroom: “Mom, what shirt did you iron for me?” Short sleeves or long sleeves?
– With short ones, why do you ask?
– To know where to wash your hands.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, why are you late again? Vovochka:
– Well, Mary Ivanovna, well, you yourself said that it’s never too late to learn!

Vovochka says to his father: “Dad, you promised to go to the zoo.”
– Father promised
– father came!

Vovochka walks with her mother near the monument to Peter I and asks her: “Mom, why is that horse sticking out from below?” She, blushing, tells him: “You know, you’d better ask dad.” He will explain it to you. The next day, Vovochka, passing by the monument, asks his father: “Dad, dad, why is that horse sticking out from below?” He, embarrassed, answers: “Well, you know, well, in general, well, this is something.” The next day, mom asks Vovochka: “Well, son, did dad explain to you what this is?” Vovochka:
– Yes, he said that it was something. Mom is indignant: “This is something he has, but here is what we need!!!”

Dad, mom and Vovochka are lying in bed (Vovochka is in the middle). Dad pushes Vovochka and says: “Tell mom that dad is inviting her to ride the train.” “Mom said she didn’t want to.”
– Tell mom that dad is inviting her to ride the train again. “Mom said she still doesn’t want to.” After a while, mom pushes Vovochka and says: “Tell dad that I agree to ride the train with dad.”
– Dad said that he had already left on a handcar.

At school, in class, they tell stories about winter. Vovochka:
– So I’m walking past the river
– and there, on the ice, wolves are relieving themselves…
– Ugh, Vovochka, how inconvenient!
– Of course, it’s uncomfortable
– your legs are moving apart!

– Aunt Tanya, will Vovochka go outside?
– Yes! Half an hour later, he is now putting away the toys.
– Eeeeeee…….. In half an hour we won’t be there anymore…

In a literature lesson:
– Children, which historical character died from his horse? Vovochka, looking up from the pornographic magazine:
– Catherine the Second!
– How is Catherine the Second?!
– If you, Marya Ivanovna, accepted THIS, you would immediately burst, but she still endured…