American children run away from their parents after a quarrel, because… they immediately put on shoes. With us, as long as you tie your shoelaces, you get p*ssed and go to your room.

21:00
– It is at this time that children admit to their parents that tomorrow they need to bring a craft, a report with color photographs and pies to school for tea.

One young family (father, mother, 6-year-old daughter) went to the store to buy a gift for their friend Aunt Valya. Aunt Valya was 9 months old and was already in the maternity hospital. My daughter actively participated in choosing the gift and, of course, she was interested in the details. On the way back home the following dialogue takes place. Daughter:
– Will Aunt Valya have a child? Mom:
– Yes. Daughter:
– Where is he now? Mom:
– Well… In the tummy. A long pause follows. And already at the house the daughter says: “Mom, you said that if you suck dirty fingers, you will get worms in your stomach!” What do you have to suck to have children?!

– Bagel, bagel!
– the children shouted, not suspecting that Kolobok was mortally wounded.

With our medicine, anyone who has raised a couple of children can automatically receive a pediatrician diploma.

A blonde is asked during a driving test: “What should you do when you see a “Caution, Children” sign?
– Quickly pass this place before the children destroy the car!

Teacher:
– An ant works all day long. Children, what happens then? Vovochka:
– And then, Marivanna, some kind of infection will take it and crush it.

Before pregnancy, I slept on my stomach! During pregnancy
– on your side! After having a baby, I can even sleep standing up!

Once Vovochka went to the cinema. A loving couple sat in front of him. The guy hugged the girl and asked: “Honey, do you feel anything?”
– Yes! That you love me, dear! The next day Vovochka comes to kindergarten and pounces on little Mashenka, hugs her close and asks: “Do you feel anything?”
– Nope. He presses her harder: “And now?”
– Yeah!
– What?
– I want to write!

During a natural history lesson, the teacher asks: “Who knows why storks fly to Africa for the winter?” Vovochka stands up: “It’s clear that blacks also want to have children!”