The teacher asks Vovochka: “Who is Evgeny Onegin?”
– Don’t know.
– And Chatsky?
– Don’t know.
– So, that means you don’t know anything about us…
– Why nothing? I know Schwartz, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris…
– And with this knowledge are you going to live in Russia? -Where is it?

Vovochka went into his parents’ bedroom and saw his parents in the “HE’S ON TOP” position.
– Hurray, horse. Yoke-go. Dad, mom, can I play too? Well, they have nothing to do
– just play, they say. Vovochka climbed on top of dad, like a cowboy, and dad continued his work. Soon mom started moaning. Vovochka:
– Hey, dad. Hold on! This is usually where I fall off the postman!

During the lesson, the teacher asks the children which of them played and won gambling. Sergey:
– My dad and I collected several coffee labels and won an iron. Masha:
– And we collected Fanta caps and won a T-shirt. Vovochka:
– And my dad guessed 6 numbers out of 6! Teacher and children:
– And how much did he win? Vovochka:
– 7 years with confiscation! Teacher:
– Why? Vovochka:
– Yes, the alarm system was non-standard!

The teacher asks: “Vovochka, why weren’t you at school yesterday?” “And I, Maria Ivanovna, took the cow to the bull yesterday.”
– Why couldn’t dad?
– I could! But the bull does it better…

Mom is frying fish. Vovochka comes up, looks at the slightly browned pieces and asks: “Mom, is the fish not ready yet?”
– No, son! “So I see that she’s getting paler.”

The family sits down to dinner. Father went to the bathroom to wash his hands. Little Vovochka says to his mother: “Mom, do you know, yesterday Aunt Valya came to see dad?” Mother, in anticipation of the upcoming revelation: “Wait a minute, dad will come and you’ll tell us all.” Father arrives. Vovochka:
– Yesterday, Aunt Valya came to see dad. So he kissed her there, which is what you always lick at Uncle Bory’s…

– Why are you being rude to me, Vovochka? Am I your father or not?
– Well, you ask puzzles, old man! How do I know?

– Vovochka, are you laughing? Personally, I don’t see anything funny!
– And you can’t see:
– You sat on my jam sandwich!

– Vovochka, who do you want to become?
– Doctor, Marya Ivanovna.
– Noble. What if you don’t get into medical school?
– Well… Then a glass washer.
– Why is it so polar
– either a doctor or a washer?
– Yes, I really love looking at naked women.

– Vovochka, tell us, where did Suvorov win for the first time?
– On page one hundred and fourth of the textbook!