Maryivanna in class:
– Vovochka, decline the verb “vote”. “I vote, you vote, he votes, she votes, we vote, you vote.”
– Vovochka, what about “they”?
– And they wanted to shit on us!

Vovochka comes to his mother in tears and complains that his three-year-old sister is pulling his hair.
– Well, don’t be offended by her. She is small and does not understand that it hurts. He silently goes into the nursery and immediately a heartbreaking roar is heard from there. Mom jumps into the room. Vovochka:
– Now she knows!

At school teacher:
– Children, today we will study the word “definitely.” Make up a sentence with this word. Masha:
– The sky is definitely blue.
– No, this is not suitable, the sky can be gray. Katya:
– The grass is definitely green.
– It doesn’t fit again, the grass is yellow. Vovochka:
– Can I ask a question?
– Yes. -Do farts come in lumps?
– Shame on you!
– So I definitely screwed up.

Vovochka walks with her dad past the school: “Son, are you studying at this school?”
– Yes.
– 20 years ago I also studied here. “Now I understand what the director meant when he said that he hadn’t seen such an idiot like me at school for 20 years.”

During the lesson, the teacher asks: “What excites a person the most?”
– The body of a naked woman!
– answers Vovochka, sitting on the first desk.
– Get out of class! And bring your father! The next day Vovochka came alone and sat at the last desk.
– Why didn’t you bring your father? Why did you sit at the last desk?
– asks the teacher. “Dad said that if you are not turned on by a naked woman, then you are a fagot and should be stayed away from you.”

– In chemistry class, Vovochka mixed up the reagents and made the wrong solution. He dipped his finger and it stopped bending. “He brought the flask home and told his father. He gave him a ten and took the solution. In the morning Vovochka wakes up, and there are still thirty rubles under the pillow. “This is from your mother,” said the father.

Vovochka says: “Dad, can I go for a walk?”
– Vovochka, I’m not dad, I’m mom. 🙂
– Who can sort you fagots out?

Teacher:
– Children, what games can be played well together? Masha:
– To the cities! Misha:
– Checkers! Vovochka:
– Play dominoes! Teacher:
– How? Vovochka: “I walked up to the bedroom at two o’clock in the morning yesterday… And dad said to mom: “I’m finished…”, and mom answered him: “What a goat!”

The teacher says to Vovochka: “Vovochka, you have a lot of mistakes in your essay.”
– Yes, it’s true. Fuck it! The teacher is shocked:
– What? To where? Vovochka, taking off his pants: “So show every fool where to go!”

Vovochka said that when he grows up he wants to work as a Tampax. The teacher asked if he even knew what it was?
– No, I don’t know, but they say he works in a warm place!!!!