Vovochka comes home from kindergarten and says to her mother: “Mom, mom, I kissed a girl on the lips for the first time!”
– Yes? And what did she tell you? “But I didn’t hear, she covered my ears with her knees.”

In the class, the Russian language teacher says: “Once upon a time, merchants were sailing along the Tiber River, they were attacked by robbers and took away all their goods. When they were asked: “What happened to your goods?” They answered: “And they were killed from us.” This is where the word “shave” comes from. Vovochka extends her hand: “Marivanna, what would the same thing be called in the city of Pisa?”

– Vovochka, I want you to be attentive!!!!! Let’s try:
– If mom brings meat, cabbage, potatoes, beets, what will we have for lunch?
– Borsch !
– Well done! What if a rag and a bucket of water?
– I don’t eat that!

The teacher is talking about the future.
– Here you are, Vovochka, what will you become when you grow up?
– A policeman.
– What if there are no police then? There will be no criminals and no one to catch.
– Then firemen.
– But society will improve itself in such a way that there will be no negligence, not a single fire will be allowed. Why firefighters? “Then I’ll become an officer.”
– While you grow up, reason will triumph throughout our planet. People will live a peaceful, happy life. The military will be of no use.
– Why are you pestering me, Marya Ivanovna? I won’t work anyway!

Vovochka came to school very pale. -Are you sick?
– asked the teacher.
– No, today my mother washed me.

Teacher Vovochka:
– Vovochka, to achieve results, you need to study hard!
– From whom, from whom to study?

Teacher in the class:
– Children today we will study the letter “X” Vovochka holds out her hand:
– May I! I can!
– Sit down, Vovochka, you haven’t brought your father yet for the letter “B.”

Vovochka comes home, and his mother asks: “What did you bring?”
– Four.
– Why not five?
– And we only had four lessons.

Vovochka and her friend received a unit in biology. Vovochka:
– What an old fool! Let’s hide around the corner and, when she passes, we’ll suddenly jump out, I’ll lift up her skirt and you’ll hit her in the balls…

Vovochka is standing on the street, smoking. A woman approaches him: “Boy, do your parents know that you smoke?”
– Does your husband know that you pester strangers?