– Vovochka, what did they give you for your birthday?
– Do you see the turquoise Mercedes under the window?
– Yeah! Cool car!
– Well, they gave me exactly the same color… a cap.

Vovochka asks her grandmother: “Bah, why does the earth rotate?”
– Oh, you asshole drank daddy’s cognac again…

– Maria Ivanovna, how can you find the city of Kostroma on the map?
– Vovochka, imagine a globe in the shape of an ass, and Kostroma will be in the very hole.

A teacher in a zoology lesson asks: “Children, who has the biggest eggs?” Vovochka:
– At the elephant!
– Ugh! What a shame! No! Wrong! At the ostrich! Vovochka:
– Oh, I know! This is from the one who wrote slow waltzes!

– Vovochka, did you bring the gambling debt?
– Brought it, brought it, Marivan. But it’s still not fair. You pulled an ace out of your sleeve…
– How else can you collect money from you for school repairs?

Vovochka came to school very pale. The teacher asks him: “Vovochka, are you sick?” Vovochka answers her: “No, my mother washed me yesterday.”

– Vovochka! Again you smeared yourself with that nasty thing
– “Triple Cologne”.
– Marivan! How much can you talk! They don’t apply “triple”
– they drink it…

Vovochka threatens her mother: “Oh, so, don’t you want to buy me chocolates?!” Okay, then I’ll call you grandma in front of everyone!

Teacher:
– I hope, Vovochka, I won’t see you cheating on a test today?
– I hope so too.

At the dentist’s appointment, the mother asks her son:
– Be smart, Vovochka! Open your mouth and say: “A-a-a!” so that your uncle can pull out his finger…