They ask Vovochka:
– Boy! Who do you want to be?
– A moron!
– Why an idiot?!
– Because everyone says: look at the car that idiot has!

During a history lesson, the teacher asks: “Vovochka!” Who took Ishmael?
– I didn’t take it! Honestly! Maybe Ivanov took it? In the evening, the teacher complains to the head teacher about what happened in class. The head teacher reassures:
– Don’t worry! These are children
– they will play and return! Teacher to the director:
– Can you imagine that the head teacher gave out…
– What kind of class is this?
– 7th “A”!
– No!
– These will not be returned!

The teacher is tired of endlessly reprimanding Vovochka for bad things. behavior. One day she told him: “I would like to be your mother for at least three days.” I would quickly rehabilitate you. “Okay,” answered Vovochka, “I’ll talk to dad, maybe he’ll agree.”

During a history lesson, Vovochka asks the teacher:
– Mary Ivanna, Marx’s teaching is called Marxism; Lenin has Leninism. But what will my teaching be called?
– Stop your stupid jokes, Onanov!

Teacher:
– Children, justify the expression “Born in a shirt.” Petya gets up: “My brother was riding a motorcycle, he had an accident, the motorcycle was in pieces, and he himself was born with no scratches in his shirt.” Ivan gets up and says: “My father fell from the fourth floor and only broke his finger; he was born in a shirt.” Teacher:
– Well done guys, maybe someone else will say something? Vovochka gets up: “I was here the other day, I grabbed six Viagra tablets, I started looking for the cat, but he wasn’t at home.” BORN IN A SHIRT!!!

A biology teacher brings a box of worms and three test tubes to class: “Look, kids!”
– and throws the worm into a test tube with water. The worm is okay, it floats. He takes the other one and puts him in a bottle of alcohol. The worm writhed and died. The third
– into a test tube with a nicotine solution. Well, the pipe has come for this worm.
– Children, what conclusion can we draw? Vovochka:
– Marivanna, you need to drink and smoke more so that worms don’t get in your stomach!

Vovochka comes home from school and says to his father:
– Dad, I got a bad mark in singing
– What happened?
– We sang the song “What kind of end did the guy have?”
– ​​So what?
– Everyone sang, and I showed…

Father
– Vovochka:
– Well, son, what will you please dad with today?
– Dad, the boys and I drank everything that can please you yesterday!

Vovochka comes to his father and says: “Dad, am I Russian or Jewish?”
– Why do you need to know?
– asks dad.
– Yes, you see, at school they offered a bike for 100 bucks, so I think: either bargain for 50 or just steal it

Vovochka comes home and says: “Mom, I need a photo of dad!” Mom looks at him and says: “Why do you need it?”
– The teacher just asked me to show what kind of IDIOT did this homework!