Vovochka to mom: “Mom, is Snickers the same as Tampax, only with cream?”

– Grandpa, relax.
– No, Vovochka, no!
– Come on, grandfather, in an amicable way! Or should I use force?
– Have mercy, Vovochka! I’m your grandfather!
– Is it my fault that the natural history teacher demands that I bring a cut of an old stump to school?

Dialogue in class:
– Vovochka, why do you have so many gaps in your dictation?
– This, Marivanna, is a place for advertising.

Feast… Head of the family
– Vovochka:
– Son, give Aunt Masha a fork…
– Why is this?
– Son, haven’t you heard about the rules of good manners?
– Damn, you yourself said yesterday that she eats like a horse…

Teacher:
– Vovochka, tell me where we will end up if we drill right through the Earth at the equator?
– To the madhouse…

Vovochka comes up to her mother and says: “Mom, I swept the floors…” “Well done, Vovochka,” my mother replies.
– Mom, I washed the floors.
– Well done, Vovochka.
– Mom, our cat got pregnant…
– Well done, Vovochka…

Mashenka and Vovochka are making a snowman, then Vovochka says: “I’ll go home and get some carrots.” Mashenka:
– Take two, and we’ll do the nose at the same time.

Vovochka once asks her mother: “Mom, why is the bride wearing white at the wedding?”
– Well, son, because white is the color of happiness, harmony, joy, etc.
– Ah, well then I understand why the groom always wears black.

Vovochka pesters her father: “Dad, how does the brain work?”
– Leave me alone, son, I have other things on my mind.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, what does Gogol’s phrase “A rare bird will fly to the middle of the Dnieper” mean? Vovochka:
– That Gogol knew birds well. There is absolutely nothing wrong for a normal bird to do in the middle of the Dnieper.