From Vovochka’s biography:
– When Vovochka was born, his dad killed all the storks in the area.

Vovochka, answering the question: “What do schoolchildren dream about?”, answered briefly and laconically: “30% of students dream of burning down the school, 20% dream of blowing it up, and the remaining 50% dream of first burning it, then blowing it up!”

The music teacher says to Vovochka: “We need to rehearse more!”
– Much more! The seventh neighbor hanged himself!

Vovochka comes home with a black eye. Mom asks him: “What happened to you?”
– You see, mom, I love jokes. Every night at three o’clock I dial the number of one of the guys and ask: “Guess who’s calling?”
– So what?
– Today one guessed it!

– Why are you crying, Vovochka?
– Mom told dad that he was a goat, and dad told mom that she was a cow.
– So what? -Who am I then?

At the Russian language lesson. Maria Ivanovna:
– Vovochka, tell me how you learned the cases?
– I learned them according to my father’s method:
– The day was Nominative, the evening was Instrumental, I was Prepositional for her, she was Dative for me, now I am not Accusative, that she is Genitive…

Vovochka puts on rubber boots. Mom says to him: “Vovochka, it’s dry outside, there’s no mud or puddles.” “I’ll find it,” he answers cheerfully.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, you can name some word with the letter “el”.
– Of course: elf.

At the parent meeting:
– Vovochka not only behaves worse than everyone else, but she doesn’t miss a single lesson!

Mom says to Vovochka: “Vovochka, get up, otherwise you’ll be late for school.”
– Nothing, school is open every day.