Russian language lesson:
– Children, come up with a sentence with the words “soon” and “because”. Mashenka stretches out her hand: “It will rain soon, because there are a lot of clouds in the sky.”
– Good The teacher says:
– And now you are Vovochka.
– Grandmother took the newspaper.
– So what.
– She’ll probably go to the toilet because she can’t read.

Mom whispers: “Vovochka, your grandfather is very sick, tell him something encouraging.”
– Grandfather, would you like a military band to play at your funeral?

Teacher: “Fell” and “hanging” are verbs. Vovochka:
– I doubt it. Teacher:
– They mean action. Vovochka:
– What action can there be if you fall and hang.

Vovochka comes home and says to dad: “Dad, I stepped on my auntie’s foot on the bus today.”
– What is she doing?!
– She gave me candy.
– And you?!
– And I stepped on it again.

Teacher in class:
– Vovochka, you’re late! Mashenka says that she left at the same time as you, but she’s already in class! “Naturally,” Vovochka answers, “just straighten her skirt, and I have to pull on my underpants and fasten my fly… Studio.”

Head teacher:
– Maria Ivanovna, why does Vovochka write dictations not only with errors, but also with swear words?
– Well, how can I explain it to you, Eleonora Petrovna… The boy writes, makes mistakes, gets nervous, starts swearing, writes further…

Vovochka approaches the doctor and asks: “Uncle doctor, can a seven-year-old girl get pregnant?”
– No.
– Blackmailer!

The teacher explains to the students the rules of good manners:
– A man always walks up the stairs in front of a lady. Who knows why? Vovochka raises his hand: “Because the lady doesn’t know what floor he lives on.”

The teacher asks the students:
– Which person that you encountered during the school year shocked you the most?
– I am Napoleon.
– I am Alexander the Great.
– I am Peter the Great. “And me,” said Vovochka, “my father, when he saw my report card for the first half of the year.”

– How much will it be if eight is divided in half?
– asks the teacher. “If along, then two Cs, and if across, then two zeros,” Vovochka answers.