So Vovochka comes home, goes home and sees how his sister is engaged in self-satisfaction, while screaming: “I want a man!!!” The next day, Vovochka, entering her room, sees her already with a man. Vovochka goes into her room, takes off her pants, begins to satisfy herself, while screaming: “I want a BICYCLE, I want a BICYCLE!!!”

Vovochka’s parents return from vacation. The apartment is in chaos, everything is upside down. Vovochka sits in the middle of the room with a fixed gaze.
– Vovochka, what happened?!
– Friends came…
– Where is the piano?!
– Gave me a listen…

“Dad beat me twice today,” Vovochka complains to her mother.
– For what?
– The first time was when I showed the report card with two marks, and the second time when he saw that it was his old report card.

Vovochka to the teacher: “Well, Marvanna, I, too, am often dissatisfied with you.” But I don’t call your parents all the time because of this!..

– You’re with a cigarette again, Vovochka!
– Grandma is angry.
– But how many times have you been told that smoking shortens your life?
– Yes? What about our grandfather? He smokes, but he lived to be 70.
– There you go! If I didn’t smoke, I’d already be eighty.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, who was Archimedes?
– Well… it was a scientist… one day he was washing himself in the bath and shouted:
– Eureka!
– And what does “eureka” mean?
– Well… it means “found.”
– And what did he find?
– I don’t know… Soap, probably.

Vovochka turns to her father: “Dad, give me a ruble, I want to go to the zoo to look at the boa constrictor.”
– Take a magnifying glass, go into the garden and look at the worm.

Teacher:
– Here we see that the crocodile laid eggs. Who knows why? Vovochka:
– He’s old already. He doesn’t need them.

– Vovochka, uncle gave you candy, what should I say?
– A night with mom costs $100.
– Aren’t you ashamed, Vovochka?
– And should I be ashamed, mommy?

Vovochka says to her mother: “Mom.” Today the school principal asked if I had brothers and sisters, and I said that I was the only child in the family.
– And what did he answer? He said:
– Thank God!