First-grader Vovochka returns from school on September 1. The father asks him: “Son, what have you learned?”
– I learned to write!
– On the first day? What a child! And what did you write?
– How do I know? I haven’t learned to read yet!

There’s a lesson in progress. Vovochka comes into class. The teacher asks him:
– Why were you late??? Vovochka:
– He was frying potatoes. Teacher:
– What’s fair? Vovochka:
– YES Teacher:
– Okay, sit down. Five minutes later the door to the classroom opens. Teacher:
– Kartoshkina, why are you late!!!

Vovochka asks dad: “Daddy, did your mother ever beat you?”
– No, only yours.

– Vovochka, why do you read poetry without expression?
– Marya Ivanovna! What expressions can there be here
– this is Pushkin!

– Vovochka, name 5 African animals.
– 2 monkeys and 3 elephants!

School, science lesson. Teacher:
– The mole eats every day an amount of food equal to its own weight. Vovochka:
– But how does the mole know how much he weighs?

Little Vovochka is asked: “Do you teach songs about the Christmas tree in kindergarten?”
– No, about the fox.
– Well, sing?
– A Christmas tree was born in FOX…

At a botany lesson:
– Vovochka, what kind of tree is this?
– Ash.
– What an ash tree, this is an oak tree.
– That’s what I’m saying, fuck ash, oak

The teacher explains to the students the rules of good manners:
– A man always walks up the stairs in front of a lady. Do any of you know why? Vovochka raises his hand: “Because the lady doesn’t know what floor he lives on.”

– Vovochka, the teacher is complaining that you play cards for money.
– Why on earth do you buy yourself vodka?
– Come on, what am I against? Just don’t beat the teacher too much.