Vovochka:
– Mom, at our school today during recess one girl ran into our toilet. Mom:
– Well, I think you drove her away? Vovochka:
– Yeah, twice…

In first grade, the teacher asks a student called to the blackboard: “Well, Vovochka, how many chickens are there in the picture?”
– One, two… no way!
– Again you stay for a second year!

In class:
– Vovochka, what is two and two?
– I’m not a weather forecaster! That’s when it will be, then we’ll see!

The teacher came to class wearing a gold pendant depicting an airplane. During the lesson, Vovochka stares at this pendant without stopping. Finally, the teacher can’t stand it and asks: “Vovochka, do you like the airplane?”
– No, airfield!

The teacher asks the children who their parents work for. Vovochka:
– And my mother is a prostitute!
– Oh, how dare you, go to the director and tell him about your action! The director was a man. After a while, Vovochka enters the classroom and hides something behind her back.
– Well, what did the director say? “The director said that all professions are important, gave me a bag of sweets and wrote down my home address.

Teacher:
– Where is our class magazine?!! Vovochka:
– What’s cool about it? Here is “Playboy”
– yes!!!

– Vovochka, here’s a very simple problem: The amount of excess profits from the sale of oil and gas is known. The number of Russians is known. Write an equation and calculate how much each Russian will receive? So, you wrote x, igrek, asterisk…what kind of asterisk?
– It’s not an asterisk, it’s the “th” I fumbled with.

Vovochka comes home from school with a torn hat. His mother asks him: “What’s wrong with your hat?” And Vovochka answers: “The guys played football with it.” Mother (indignantly):
– What did you do then? Vovochka:
– He stood at the gate.

– Vovochka! What is your least favorite subject at school?
– Cool magazine!

The teacher told everyone to bring talking animals. Mashenka brought a parrot, Petenka brought a parrot, and Vovochka brought a cow.
– What are you Vovochka, do cows talk?
– Of course Maria Ivanovna. Vovochka took two bricks and hit the cow on the udder.
– Mu-mu-asshole or what?