Vovochka is walking with a globe. Marivanna asks: “Vovochka, where are you going?”
– To the toilet!
– Vovochka answers
– Why do you need a globe?!
– And you know, Marivanna, I’m in such a mood… I don’t give a damn about the whole world!

Vovochka received a D in physical education. The father asks: “Why did the teacher give you a bad grade?” “And he asked me to cover the goat with mats.” Well, I covered it…

– Vovochka, can you count? “Of course,” Vovochka answers, “six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king, ace.”

In a biology lesson:
– Stamens and pistils are the reproductive organs of plants… Vovochka:
– Damn, I smelled them!

Teacher:
– Vovochka, if you find two bags, one with wisdom, and the other with gold… which one will you choose?
– With gold, of course!
– And I would be wise!
– Well, who is missing something!…

Mom
– to the very tall Vovochka:
– Vovochka, have you learned your lessons? I’ll check it right now! If not, I’ll stand on a stool and cut your ears!

Vovochka comes into a bookstore.
– Give me our leader’s book “My Struggle”!
– What are you talking about, Vovochka, this is a forbidden book, we don’t sell those!
– Well, of course… Standing there is Vladimir Putin. Judo.

– There is a lesson at school. Teacher:
– Whoever considers himself an idiot, stand up.
– A few minutes later Vovochka gets up.
– Do you think you’re an idiot?
– No, but it’s not good when you stand alone…

In the first week of September, the teacher gives the students the task of writing an essay on the topic “How I spent my summer.” Vovochka says: “Mar Ivanna, if you followed me on Twitter, you would have known this a long time ago!”

The teacher took the schoolchildren on an excursion to a construction site. Here a man falls from the 10th floor of an unfinished building and falls to his death. After a class excursion, the teacher decided to look into this case.
– What do you guys think, why did uncle fall?
– asks the teacher. Mashenka raises her hand and says: “Uncle did not follow safety precautions.” “Maybe,” says the teacher.
– What do you think, Vitenka? “Maybe my uncle was drunk,” Vitya answers. “It’s possible,” says the teacher. Here Vovochka holds out her hand and says: “Uncle scolded my mother.” “What is it, Vovochka, that he said such a thing,” the teacher wonders. “He shouted: Boy, for fuck’s sake, don’t shake the stairs.”