– Vovochka, who is your dad?
– Programmer .
– Can you count to 5?
– I can.
– Do the math.
– One, two, three, four, five…
– And then?
– Six, seven, eight, nine, a, bae, tse, de, e, ef…

The teacher warns the students:
– You should never kiss animals. This threatens various diseases. Who can give an example? “I,” Vovochka stood up, “my aunt kissed her parrot all the time.”
– So?..
– The parrot has gone crazy.

The teacher asks Vovochka: “How many legs does a horse have?”
– Eight.
– How is this?
– Two front, two rear, two left and two right.

The teacher asks Vovochka: “What are the last teeth a person develops?”
– Artificial!!!

The Lena River is flooding again. Vovochka’s parents send her to another city. A week later, a letter comes from relatives: “Take Vovochka, better send a flood.”

A teacher at school asks the children what they want to be when they grow up. Among other things, he asks Vovochka: “Vovochka, what do you want to become when you grow up?”
– President of the USA!
– Well, what about you, Mashenka? Vovochka:
– And she will be Monica Lewinsky!

– Vovochka, what is your favorite subject at school?
– A sculpture of a Neanderthal in the biology classroom: it looks like our director.

– So, son, one step, one more step. Well done Vovochka! Masha, quickly bring the camera
– my son has returned from graduation!

Call the doctor:
– Come quickly, our Vovochka swallowed a live mouse! “Okay, but while I’m driving, you open his mouth wider and entice him with a piece of cheese, maybe he’ll come out on his own.” The doctor arrives and sees Vovochka shaking a sprat in front of her face.
– What are you doing, I told you
– you need cheese!
– Yes, doctor, but we’re already luring the cat out.

Vovochka! Don’t drink cold water! And in general, move away from the toilet!