Vovochka comes out of the kitchen very upset: “What happened, son?”
– asks the father. Sniffling, the son replied: “I just had a scandal with your wife!”

“I’m marrying a chemical engineer,” Vovochka tells her parents. -Where will you live with her?
– For now, on the table in the chemistry room, and then we’ll see…

Vovochka is sitting in front of the door of the house. A man comes up to him and asks: “Is daddy home?”
– Yes. The man calls, but no one answers. Then he angrily says to the boy: “You say that father is at home, then why doesn’t anyone open the door?”
– Don’t know. I don’t live here.

Teacher:
– Vovochka, name some two pronouns.
– Who, me?
– Well done, Vovochka.

Dad, angrily:
– Vova! Explain to me why you got bad marks in all subjects except geography?!! Vovochka, frowning: “They haven’t asked me about geography yet…

Vovochka’s aunt is visiting. She is about to leave. Mom raises Vovochka:
– What should I say?
– Don’t know!
– Think, Vovochka! What do I always say when Aunt Natasha leaves us?
– Finally got out, you fool! I devoured all the sausage and cheese again!

Teacher:
– Vovochka, do you know that you are facing a yearly D in German?
– Yes!

“Dad,” asks Vovochka, “why don’t you have a car?”
– There is no money for a car. Don’t be lazy, study better, become a good specialist and buy yourself a car.
– Dad, why were you lazy at school?

Vovochka’s mom talks to the teacher: “My Vovochka is just a genius.” He has so many brilliant ideas, doesn’t he?
– Of course he is a genius… Especially when it comes to chemistry lessons.

– Vovochka, under what conditions does the liquid evaporate faster, when heated or when cooled?
– It depends on what kind of liquid, Marivanna.
– Nonsense. All liquids have the same physical properties. “Mom is surprised herself.” But experimental studies have convincingly proven that vodka from the refrigerator evaporates, on average, three times faster than if it is simply left on the window.